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Christmas 2004 ...
Still Missing
Loria
Not much has changed for us. I
continue to miss Loria's
physical presence so much. I
still insanely hope that I can
wake up
one day and she will be here. I
still try to fool myself into
believing I am having a horrible
nightmare and that I'll wake
up and Loria will be here to
tell me it was just a bad dream.
 I
made the decision to
put a tree up for Loria
this year. She always
loved the Christmas
tree and would
*pester* me until
it was up and
decorated. So we put
it in the room where
Loria's ashes are kept
and I talked to her
while I decorated
it for her. This is a
photo of a very special ornament I added in Loria's memory.
The year 2004 has been no less
difficult than those in the
past since losing Loria. But I
have tried very hard to
"feel better" as so many people
have *told* me to do. I'm
losing some of my resistance to
the outside world but I
continue to be a hermit. I
would still prefer to stay at
home
in my safe cocoon rather than go
out in the prying eyes of
the public. But I at least feel
less inhibited when
it comes to venturing out in the
world.
 Although
I've put up the tree,
we cannot or will not
"celebrate" the holiday. I
can't imagine buying and
wrapping gifts to put
under a tree now ~ nor to
have family or friends
come in to visit. I can't cook
a holiday meal and pretend
that everything is the same
as it was when Loria was
here with us. Both of my
girls won't be "coming
home for Christmas."
Maybe down the road ~
if I'm lucky enough to have
grandchildren one day ~ but
certainly not now.
Fortunately, my family
understands
what I can and cannot find the
energy to do.
Unless you have lost a child,
you may never be able to
understand
my emotions. But if you
are the unfortunate one that
walks beside
me on the road of grief, you can
comprehend what I am
experiencing.
To Loria ... I miss you
more than
ever ... and you
will remain in
my heart always.
I love you ~
therefore,
I grieve.
To the new year ahead ... Loria
I will never give up the fight.
I have lost you but I will never
let your memory be forgotten.
A happy heart makes the face
cheerful,
but heartache crushes the
spirit.
(Proverbs 15:13)
My spirit remains crushed.
DEAR CHILD IN
HEAVEN
You were a blessing to us all
you were a special child.
And we're so glad God sent you
to be with us awhile.
You filled our home with
happiness
and made our life complete.
The time we had with you
was far too short, but oh so
sweet.
Some things we don't find easy
to accept or understand.
Until we realize they're part of
our Creator's perfect plan.
Now it comforts us to know
you're with the angels up above.
While in our hearts we hold you
close
Surrounded by our love.
~ Author
Unknown ~
Saralyn, thank you for Loria's
bell. Without
saying it, you know how much
your friendship means
to me year 'round. I truly
treasure you.
Please take the time to visit
the memorial
website that Saralyn has created
for her son,
Robbie Smith.
Beth, thank you for Loria's
Santa globe. To know
that you have remembered her with your kindness
and compassion truly makes you a special friend.
Please take the time to visit the memorial website
that Beth maintains for her son,
Hayes
Kent.
 
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