Loria LOVED her birthday.  She EXPECTED everyone to
celebrate HER birthday.  It wasn't all about Loria. 
It was more about "it's a legitimate reason to celebrate
and have family and good friends around her."
She wanted to be certain that everybody had a good time!

Loria, I hope that you're able to have a birthday
party in Heaven. I know that you would insist!
You'd have a guest list ready a month in advance
and you'd have spoken with absolutely everyone
no later than the day before to confirm
that they'll be there ready to celebrate!

As for us left behind, your Mom can't be rational and sane
for periods of time that are long enough to make plans
for much of anything this year.  I'm having a really
difficult time right now and don't know that I'll be
able to pretend that I'm "OK" for much longer.
Has this difficult time that I'm living through now
been pre-planned and named the 7-year grief cycle?
Can I expect year 8 to become easier?
Year 7 doesn't mirror any of the previous years
so I still don't know what to expect in the future.
All I know is that I continue to miss you so much
that my heart, head, and entire body aches with grief.





Loria, regardless of the amount of time that passes,
know that you will always be my daughter,
you will always be loved, and you will always be missed.
My entire reason for living is to continue sharing your memory.
I must NEVER let the world forget that you LIVED!

Happy 29th Birthday in Heaven, sweet girl ...
loved you the day you were born,
through the years, now and forever.

~ MoM


 
 

Dear God,
I'm still waiting for the pain and agony of this grief
to ease. I'm weary ... please don't let this burden of
grief become too much for me to bear.
I need your help and guidance.  Amen.

 

Another Year

Another year has come,
And you, so far away from me now;
But in my heart still.
Forever, I will hold you close.
Each smile, laugh and tear I’ve cried
A testament to your presence.
I will always love you,
No matter what happens.
Your death can not separate us.
I’m right here, loving you as always.
My heart is true and strong.
I will never forget your spirit.
I am no longer afraid.
To live or die is the same for me.
You are with me on this journey.
I raise your light to the heavens, and smile.

© Brenda Penepent
Executive Director of Healing Heart For Bereaved Parents,
Russellville, Arkansas Chapter





Don’t Think I Do Not Grieve

Don’t think I do not feel;
because you see no tears.
A river rages deep inside
of grief, and loss, and fears.

Just because I do not cry now,
don’t think my heart’s not broken.
I keep inside the misery
of words not to be spoken.

Sometimes I smile, or crack a joke,
so you won’t see the pain;
or notice how my hands will shake,
or how I’ve gone insane.

Each time I chance to think of her,
my heart is ripped asunder.
The loss I feel is mine alone.
you will not see my thunder.

© Brenda Penepent
Executive Director of Healing Heart For Bereaved Parents,
Russellville, Arkansas Chapter