In many ways,
this seems to be the most tragic form
of death.
Often the stigma of suicide is what
rests most heavily on those left
behind...
The Bible warns us not to judge, if we ourselves hope
to escape
judgment.
And I believe that this is the
one area that
Biblical command especially should
be heeded.
For how do we know how many valiant
battles such a person
may have fought and won
before he loses that one particular battle?
And is it
fair that all the good acts and impulses of such a person
should be forgotten or blotted out by his final tragic act?
I think our reaction should be one of love and pity,
not of
condemnation.
Perhaps the person was not
thinking clearly in his final moments;
perhaps he was
so driven by emotional whirlwinds
that he was incapable
of thinking at all.
This is terribly sad. But surely it is understandable.
All of us have moments when we
lose control of ourselves, flashes of
temper,
or irritation, or selfishness that we later regret.
Each one of us, probably, has a final breaking point --
or would have if our faith did not sustain us.
Life puts
far more pressure on some of us than it does on others.
Some people have more stamina than others...
My heart goes out to those who are left behind,
because I know they suffer terribly...
The immediate family of the victim is left wide open
to tidal waves
of guilt:
"What did I fail to do that
I should have done?
What did I do that was wrong?"
To such grieving persons I can only say, "Lift up your
heads and
your hearts.
Surely you did your best.
And surely the loved one who is gone did his best,
for as long as he
could.
Remember, now, that his
battles and torments are over.
Do not judge him,
and do not presume to fathom the mind of God
where this one of His children is concerned."
A few years ago, when a young man died by his own
hand,
a service for him was conducted by his pastor,
the Reverend West
Stephens.
What he said that day
expresses far more eloquently than I can,
the message
that I'm trying to convey.
Here are some of his words:
"Our friend died on his own battlefield.
He was killed in
action fighting a civil war.
He fought against
adversaries that were as real to him
as his casket is
real to us.
They were powerful adversaries.
They took
toll of his energies and endurance.
They exhausted
the last vestiges of his courage and his strength.
At last these adversaries overwhelmed him.
And it appeared that he had lost the war.
But did he?
I see a host of victories that he has won!
"For one thing - he has won our admiration - because
even if he lost
the war,
we give him credit for his
bravery on the battlefield.
And we give him credit
for the courage and pride and hope
that he used as
his weapons as long as he could.
We shall remember
not his death, but his daily victories
gained through
his kindnesses and thoughtfulness,
through his love
for his family and friends ...
for all things beautiful, lovely,
and honorable.
We shall remember not his last day of
defeat,
but we shall remember the many days that
he was
victorious over overwhelming odds.
We shall
remember not the years we thought he had left,
but
the intensity with which he lived the years that he had.
Only God knows what this child of His suffered in
the
silent skirmishes that took place in his soul.
But
our consolation is that God does know, and understands."
© Dr.
Norman Vincent Peale,
co-founder of Guideposts Magazine
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